After 2 days of running and 3 days of yoga I’m giving my body a switcheroo. Let’s see what happens with some salsa for lunch.
For Woman Interrupted: Lilith as Freddie Mercury—Halloween 2009, age 1.5
2.70 in 34 mins. I’ll take it.
It never stops. That feeling that you can be better, that you can be more. Perhaps that’s wonderful because I don’t want to stop creating a better me, a happier me, a me who embraces life and the people around her. The one thing that keeps me going is the moment I walk through my door and my son jumps into my arms and kisses me. So when I am so utterly bored at work that my mind starts racing, telling me that I am going to be doing data entry for the rest of my life, I don’t need to be reminded that I should be happy that I am getting a comfortable pay check that allows me to keep a roof over my head and my kids in an engaging, exciting preschool. I don’t need to be reminded that the economy is terrible and I have it relatively easy. I know this, believe me, but that doesn’t mean I can’t wish for a fulfilling career, does it?
When I feel hopeless, my instinct is to escape. A few months ago I heard about these retirees who went from city to city, working for Amazon.com. I have heard stories about the terrible working conditions and yet, even knowing these things, I still suggested to my husband that we sell our house, move to a trailer park and work for Amazon. I have a very understanding and rational husband who tolerates these adorable psychotic breaks and for that I am grateful. I have made the decision to change the course of my life. For years, I was told that I was too old to do opera—a career where success is almost arbitrary. Now 10 years later, I have the chutzpa to attempt a totally new career? What the fuck is wrong with me? I’m applying to the same jobs as those 22-year old graduates who have had internships with Oprah Winfrey’s lint roller. I know I am worthy and bring a lot to the table. I know that my past experiences in performance are an asset, but sometimes I just want to sit down and cry or, apparently move to a trailer park.
I need to go back to the yoga. Things were so lovely back then. You people need to keep me accountable. For the next 4 weeks, we’re on a 3 times a week yoga, 3 times a week running.
I used to hate going to the doctor’s because I was not only obese, I had high blood pressure. Last friday was my birthday. I did 39 acts of kindness, in honor of my 39 years on this earth. I’ll run a list shortly BUT, when I gave blood (#32-I think) she took my blood pressure: NORMAL. But as an added bonus— resting heart rate: 62 bitches!!!!
Tomorrow, I will be 39 years old. I spent a shit-ton of my life being serious and dark and generally goth minus the eyeliner. I’m choosing to spend the next 39 years reliving the childhood I missed by being such a debbie downer. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. So, for my 39th year, I’m giving myself a gift: the gift of thanks. Inspired by Robyn’s 38 Acts of Kindness I’m going to add one and do a 39 Acts of Kindness. So far, I have planned:
1. morning jog date with a friend who wants to bring exercise into her life.
2. coffee/breakfast in bed for Boo (shhh!!!)
3. make sandwiches for the homeless
4-15. hand out cupcakes
16. hand out hugs
17. Give blood at 1:45
18. Spontaneous dance party in the streets of DC—at the very least it will give people a good laugh.
19. pick up garbage off the street
20-25: write notes of thanks to people who have inspired me
26: buying coffee for the person behind me
27-39: looking for some spontaneous acts of kindness—give a seat, say a bless you, smile to someone who looks down, pick up books, carry groceries.
SUGGESTIONS and donations of your own acts of kindness WELCOME!
The national ironman 70.3 was cancelled! What the hell? I was doing the run for a relay with 2 friends. Color me PISSED.
Slowly, slowly. I will tell you that Rhianna is making me want to go running right now. Am I the only one who has a dance party while she’s running?
One of the things I continually need to remind myself is to stay in my own lane. To stop comparing my successes to others’ successes. I’m 10 months into my year-long fundraising venture to raise $10,000 for the Ovarian Cancer Research Fund, in honor of my friend, Maya. The good news: we’re at $10,042. The bad news: there is no bad news, come on now! $10,000 is AMAZING!!!! And yet, I feel bad that this month’s challenge I was only able to bike 66 out of the 112 miles planned. I don’t have a bike so I was biking inside, on a stationary and the weather was so lovely out that I found myself running more, even though I should have been biking inside. But it’s $10,000. So why do I feel bad?
This year I have:
1. run a half-marathon
2. run countless 5-ks
3. realized that I don’t want to be an opera singer but go into television production
4. been a great mom, wife (right, Boo?) and friend
My 39th birthday is coming up on May 11th. Last year was great but this year is going to be even better. I need to overcome my biggest obstacle: MYSELF. This year I intend to look at my life and be actively grateful for every person, every experience, and every adventure that has made me the ninja I am today. So here’s how this shit is going to go down for my year of gratefulness and failing gloriously:
1. On May 11th I will do 39 acts of kindness. I’ve already scheduled an appointment at the blood bank for my lunch hour. If you have any suggestions, bring it.
2. Sometime before May 11, 2013, I will run 39k. That’s nearly a marathon. Watch out, it WILL happen.
3. Be honest with myself, with friends, with everyone. I was telling a friend recently that I spent my whole life trying to be a combination of Maria Callas and Meryl Streep but, in honesty, I’m actually a combination of Fozzie Bear and Freddie Mercury. And really? Who would you rather be stuck in an elevator with? This year I’m going to embrace total honesty with myself and see what happens.
Hey, it’s only a year and it’s the last time I’ll be in my 30s, so I’ve gotta step it up.